Feelin' Queasy..

There are a lot of first-time experience for me this year. Another one to add to the list would be; First time being admitted to a hospital. Hehehe.. here's the story..

Tried to self-medicate myself by taking Lemsip Lemon for flu & fever. Unfortunately, my cough & flu continued to wreak havoc in my system, so I visited another clinic near my workplace. The doctor there prescribed me with flu tablets, cough syrups (I requested for a non-drowsy one) and lozenges for my throat.

That night, we had a meeting with a potential client and I really really do not wish to re-schedule this meeting anymore coz it'll made us looked like some unprofessional hobos, so I took the medication given religiously. Apparently, I wasn't prepared for another attack. When we were at my client's house, my tummy started to sound & feel like ermm.. a war was going on in there. I panicked and my brain started to go through all the crap that I've eaten for the past 12 hours. I nudged my hubby and mouthed the word, 'Stomach problem' to him and pointed to my tummy because I don't want the whole world. Very embarrassing lah dey~

Sigh~

I excused myself and dived into the bathroom.

Twice.

When the feeling came again for the third time, I quickly nudged hubby again to quickly wrap the discussion so that we can go home, in an afford to save my waterface. Hahaha.. Apparently, the client had other things on her mind and she still wanted to continue. She went on and on and on and on and on and on and on..

Have you ever had moments when time was moving ever so slowly? When time just crawls to a stop? That was how I felt. I could see the cracks on the ceiling, tiny little ants, hear the second-hand on the clock ticking, hear my heart beating, see the dust on monitor.. I hear everything else, except for the sound of my client's voice. I was on nodding-and-smiling-politely-regardless-of-what-was-said-or-done mode.

And then.. fever started to kick in and I was beginning to feel cold.

When we finally reached the carpark in Ubi, I jumped out of the car before hubby can even park it, ran to the lift, pound on the buttons of the lift, tap my feet continuously while the lift moved, ran all the way to the door, fumbled around with the keys, gritted my teeth in frustration as the keys dropped to the floor, almost laughed out loud when the door finally opened, threw my bags to the floor and skipped to the loo my darling~.. Heh..

Before going to sleep that night, I ate another medicine for diarrhoea, hoping that my sleep won't get disrupted by going to the toilet for a few more times.

Hah~! I was dead wrong.

At 3am, I was rudely woken up by a sharp pain on my upper stomach area. It was excruciating! I thought that the pain was a temporary one, but I was wrong. Hubby got me ready to go to Tan Tock Seng Hospital. I was delirious and asked Hubby for forgiveness in case I am going to die, while he looked at me like I am mad. Hahahah..

We reached the hospital at around 3.30am. The person there asked me if I can point out the scale of the pain that I am having, between 1 - 10. I almost said 20, but knowing that they usually have no sense of humour (like airport staff lah), stopped myself and said between 7-8 instead. Bleah~ Ya lah.. What if he quickly paged for his top surgeon and wheeled me into the operating room? Then they will open me up and see what was the thing that can cause such unspeakable horror in me. Heehee..

At last, when I finally get to see the doctor (which was pretty fast. They gave priority to me first, I think because they can see the agony in my eyes), he asked me if this is the same pain as period cramp because coincidently, yesterday was also the 1st day of my menses (Yeah, I know.. Tripple whammy!!!!). I said no, the pain is unlike the kind that I've ever had. I have never experienced such pain in that region before. After he injected painkiller into me, I felt light-headed and can feel the pain slowly disappear but it was replaced by a tight pulling sensation. My breathing was back to normal and I was wheeled to the observation room.

At 6++am, the pain returned with a vengeance. It striked me with double the force and Hubby had to run to a staff nurse for help while I writhed in agony on the bed. The doctor came again with the magic syringe, and a few minutes later I floated into the air once more, seeing rainbows and unicorns. Fortunately, the drama ends there and I was discharged an hour later. Was given a huge dosage of painkiller (tablet form), just in case.

Well, that was my horrendous experience. Surprise surprise, I am back in the office this morning. Tummy still feeling queasy. Apa nak buat.. dah nasib badan..

I don't know what is wrong with the people in the office. I was on MC because I was unwell. Or would they prefer me to go to work, feeling crappy? Spread my virus around? I think Jolly has caught it also because she's on MC today with the same problem I had previously. Hahaha..

Ok lah. I got to get back to work now. Tonnes of things to do.

:'(

Sick~

I've been feeling a tad under the weather lately.. Boo hoo~

It all started with my throat being infected, which then unleash a series of other health problems onto me. Fever (on and off), incessant coughing (annoying too!!), migraine (arrghhhhhhhhh~) and now.. the grand finale (hopefully) --> Flu.

Ta da~~

All in a space of less than a week.. (and only 1 day MC too!) All my meetings with close friends and clients had to be rescheduled. Honestly, I've never been this sick before. A record had been broken. Hurrah~

Still nursing my flu and cough. There is a slight improvement with my voice now, compared to the past few days. Evil male colleagues had their laughs, poking fun at my super sexy husky voice. Hahahhaa...

Last Saturday, I managed to take a peek at Yanti's cutie pie daughter, Intan Marisha. Sorry, no picture taken because I was too slenger to take out my handphone to snap. Don't blame me, blame it on the various medicines that I've taken, ok? Heh..

Oh yeah~ Did some serious aliens'/floods' butt-kicking in Halo 2 while I was on MC. Power dok~ Can't wait for the ending!

7% GST..

When I heard the news that the government (the one that 66.6% had voted for in May) wanted to raise the GST to 7%, my initial reaction was I.simply.couldn't.believe.it.

Speechless..

Then after the cloud of disbelief had lifted, my blood started to boil.. I can feel steam coming out of my ears.. Smoke came out of my nose as I huffed and puffed in anger.

So I surfed the Net to get more info.

Reason for the hike? According to PM Lee, "Hike was necessary to finance the enhanced social safety nets, needed to help the lower income group and he emphasised that the offset package would more than counter the rise in GST."
What lah all this bullcrap~! A peasant like me knows that the GST increase is only going to hurt the poor instead of helping them. Unless they are not going to tax on necessity items like groceries, textbooks.. then perhaps it wouldn't be so bad. Tax only the luxury items so that it will hurt the rich's deep pockets. And what offset package is he talking about? Issit like previously when they issue ERS to us to soften the blow of the GST increase? Hah! Kelakar siak!

Here's another one from PM Lee, "I'm not going to tax 15% on income tax, I'm not going to tax 25% from GST the way the Scandanavians do, but I have to make the adjustments of 2% which I think is fair and I think Singaporeans will support."

Why are you NOT going to tax 15% on income tax? Income tax is exactly where you should raise because like Robin Hood, you will be stealing from the rich to give to the poor. Or is it because you YOURSELF are not willing to contribute to the poor since you YOURSELF are among the top of the pile with your million-dollar paycheck??!! And STOP COMPARING SINGAPORE TO OTHER COUNTRIES!! Each country is unique. I heard somewhere that the GST is higher in OTHER COUNTRIES because they HAVE WELLFARE system to help the poor.

Sigh.. How? I am tired. More and more things are being revealed, hinting at me that my government just don't love me anymore. I love Singapore, it's just that I loathe the government that governs it.

I feel like I want to quit being a Singaporean. Tender my resignation. I thought I wanted to blog about this Malay teacher that I had in Secondary school, instead, I rant and rave about my incompetent government. Blah~

19% of paedophiles have images of children 3 years or younger..

Shocked? Wished that you can do something about it?

"Children sexually abused on Internet pornography sites cannot speak for themselves.

But you can.

With your help, we can eradicate this evil trade.

We DO NOT need your money.

We need you to light a candle of support.

We are aiming to light at least ONE MILLION CANDLES by December 31, 2006.

This petition will be used to encourage governments, politicians, financial institutions, payment organisations, Internet service providers, technology companies and law enforcement agencies to eradicate the commercial viability of online child pornography.

They have the power to work together. You have the power to get them to take action.

Together, we can destroy the commercial viability of Internet child pornography sites that are destroying the lives of innocent children. "

http://www.lightamillioncandles.com/

Up to 20,000 children appears in pornographic images online everyday!!

There's a sick & perverted group of people preying on these innocent kids. A HUGE group. The scariest thing is that they don't look like your average criminal with tattoos.. They look normal. They live a normal life but have hideous online hobby.

So go on.. Go light that candle.. They still need 100,000 ++ more candles.

Kindly forward this to your friends, relatives and work colleagues so that they can light a candle too.

Just some random stuffs...

- Latest addition to the family

Muhammad Aiman.
Born on 17/10/06 at 2248 in KKH.

I was drowning in a green pool of envy when I saw him.. Hahaha..
Look at this precious bundle of joy.. Please ignore my hideous double-layered eyebags (got such thing?), it's a Ramadhan special.. Hur hur~

Feast your eyes with more of this little dude here
He was fiercely protected by his sisters. I tried to sneak him into my large handbag but was viciously attacked by Nabila.. Gosh! That girl sure know how to pinch.. LOL~~
But I still adore Huda (girl in green tudung).. Look at her.. Geram kan? Heehee..

- “Straits Times keeps No 1 spot, drawing 1.35m readers.”

Oh yeah? And you are competing for the top spot with... ??? Berita Harian? Tamil Murasu? Lianhe Zaobao?

Duh~

That's why I no longer read the local paper anymore. What were they thinking?
Hallo~ I not stupid.. you know!

- ROAD HOGGERS!

2 words for you.. &^%$ OFF!

They didn't even let an ambulance (the lights on the roof was flashing) through. You know what? One fine day, you'll be lying, dying in an ambulance with all the lights flashing and the siren blasting loudly.. and then no one.. ABSOLUTELY no one.. will give way to you..

What goes around, comes around..

Nah.. I am not cursing anyone. Just stating the fact.

- My thoughts on Singapore government

Any of you ever played Simcity before? I have. For those of you who don't know, this game allows you to create your own city. You are in-charge of EVERYTHING! From laying down the water pipes to setting sections of the city for agricultural, commercial and residential. You can build schools, fire departments, police stations and place them according to the needs of your people. It's FUN for a control freak like me. Heh.

In the beginning, I started with a small farming community. With the little money that I have, I started my city slowly. I cared and listened to every little complain that my people have and worked hard to garner their supports. Too much criminal activity in your neighbourhood? Not a problem, I'll try my best to build a police station there, Mam!
This caring little city managed to entice more people to move into the city, which in turn, brought in more money. I gained more and more money as the years goes by. My city was famous! It's growing so well and more importantly, I am RICH! But not rich enough!

Then, I decided that I needed to expand my horizon. Needed more $$ for it, but I don't want to kacau my own pocket! Duh!? So how?

Hah!

I started to squeeze even more $$ from my people.

How else?

From raising tax of course! Road tax lah.. ERP lah (ooops.. Wrong City!).. and a personal favorite --> Transport Hike! Of course they complained.. I'll just turn a deaf ear. Or I pretended to listen and take down their concerns.. BUT I NEVER ACTED ON IT! ** evil laugh ** or give lame excuses justifying my evil deeds..

My population started to dwindle a bit but still, there are loyal supporters who stayed. Those who left are Quitters! I have no use for them. Muahahahaha..

Then, the next big thing was to build a BIG A$$ Casino. I've done my calculations and it shows that my earnings will be doubled as time goes by. So many of my citizens actually protested. I just rolled my eyes and clicked 'Yes'. Crime rate goes up due to the negative aura that the casino has brought in. I couldn't care less. What matters to me was the sweet sound of 'kaching' 'kaching' as the dough starts rolling in.

So.. these are my thoughts. I even named my City - Temasek. I've been dying to share it in my blog but never really find the time. Hehehe..

** Ermm. Provocative post.. I know.. If I go MIA, you know why ah..

- Maiden Voyage (1st time lah)

1st time celebrating as someone's wife. Didn't really see what's the big deal was.. ;p~ It's just different because my parents were not there and was replaced by his parents. Am I sad that I didn't get to celebrate with my parents? Not really, because I know they are just a phone call away and it's not as if I am not going to visit them later..
The only part that was memorable to me was in the morning. After hubby and I were dressed and ready, we salam, asked for forgiveness from each other.. a quick hug and a peck on the cheek.. and that's it! Perhaps we are still new..
But I just felt that it's really redundant, because we do that every morning without fail and sometimes before going to sleep. Outside, his family was waiting. I proceeded to salam and ask for forgiveness from his parents and siblings.

- Am I or am I not?

The last time I checked, I am not pregnant.... yet. It's no biggie..

Really..

I am not just saying this because I want to appear cool and uncaring.. I am just being realistic. Relax lah, I just got married 8 months ago. Azmi kata his commando belom keluar lagik..

Hehehe..

And what's with my mom saying that my womb is out of place (don't ask me, I have no idea that it can move about).
Once we move to a new house (moving to our dream house soon..) and when all the dust has settled.. and if my tummy is still flat (HAHAHA! Yeah right~!).. then we WILL do something about it.
And then, even if 1 of us has fertility problem (Read: Sterile), so? It's not the end of the world lah dey.. Maybe we can be those cool childless couple who travel the world together.. hand in hand, with a Lonely Planet travel guide on the other.. Or maybe, just maybe, we can adopt a few babies (you have no idea how many babies are abandoned/unwanted) and bring them up as our own. Muhrim issues? No problem. We'll work around it. When there's a will, there's a way.. ;p~

Or I can lavish all my attention on my adorable nieces & nephews..

MIL asked me the other day if I was on birth control pills. I told her the truth. I think her relatives have started asking and she's probably worried.
We are not using any contraceptives method at the moment. Well... There are days when I wish I was on it when I came across unruly teenagers or really really naughty toddlers. Bleah~ Babies are all cute and cuddly.. Just you wait.. a few more years and then the next thing you know they'll start going through puberty and have the impression that the world revolves around them.. Hahaha..

Yeah.. I told MIL the truth. Told her how uncomfortable it is when people keep asking me about it. Told her that I felt pressurised. She understands. She knows that some people can be so blunt when asking these questions and unknowingly hurt our feelings. Well, what do you know? They've stopped asking altogether and I highly suspected that my dear MIL has a hand in this. Hur hur hur~

- Bz bz bz..

I've been buzzing around in the office. There are days when I wish I can just sms 'Hi Sam, I am not coming in to work this morning. Or tomorrow either. In fact, I QUIT!' and then just curl up in bed and Zzzz...
I've been busy at home with my new home business.. Too busy to give my blog the regular updates it sorely needed. Sigh..

A quickie~

Here's a quick update..

Ayah is now able to walk without using the cane. Syukur Alhamdulillah~ I can also see that he is putting on a bit of weight as well as his voice is a tad more audible now..

See? I told you that Ayah's health will improve once he get out of that dreaded and lonely isolation ward. Now we are just waiting for the next appointment so that Mak can highlight the hearing problem to the doctors.

A quick 'HI' to Fauzi as well~
Thanks for the testimonials in Friendster..

Ok~ Back to work~~~ ;p

Have a blessed Ramadan..

Alhamdulillah syukur~

Ayah had been discharged from the hospital last Friday (22/09/06) and is doing quite well at home under Mak's care. He's just a bit hot-tempered lately due to the fact that he is still having difficulty talking (due to the trachy) and also because he is hard of hearing now. His left ear was badly damaged (he removed a huge blood-clot in his ear all by himself by using a cotton bud~ Yuck~!) and we have to whisper loudly (Yeah I know, it's an oxymoron) to his right ear so that he can hear what we are talking about. Nevertheless, I am still grateful to Allah for his speedy recovery and he was able to return home before Ramadan approaches.
Ayah's b'day was on 21/09/06 but we celebrated on the 23/09/06. Me & hubby bought lots of cheng tng (Ayah's favourite dessert) and a blue baju melayu. Abang Ngah bought cakes and soup tulang (Sigh.. Sesungguhnya aku berpuasa hari ini~ Heehee) while Along contributed soft beancurd for our small party. Mak pulak masak Mee Sua.. Mmm yummy~~
* Note to oneself, must stop blogging about food during Ramadan *

As for the business that we've just started, initially, there was a lot of bad-vibes and negativity. Biasa lah.. Bila orang melayu nak bukak bisnes, ada jer yang menyebok dan suka memburuk2kan kaum mereka sendiri. But among all these flaks that we've received, we are very glad for the support given by our good friends, families and relatives. Hehehehe.. Thanks a lot you guys~

Ramadan is finally here. It's definitely different now from before I was married. Previously, I don't have to wake up earlier to prepare the food because everything was already laid out on the table when I wake up for Sahur. That is if I even bothered to wake up at all! Hahaha..

Now? Although it wasn't expected of me to help MIL in the kitchen (I am blessed with such a lovely MIL), but I still forced my butt out of the bed at 4am to help her. With me being half awake, I can only handle preparing the drinks (last night, the Milo was a bit diluted and this morning the tea was too sweet *chuckles*) while MIL was buzzing about in the kitchen, warming last night's meal. Me so useless, kan? Bleah~

Last Friday, while we were enjoying our meal at Kallang, I found a disturbing show on TV. So sad.. They marred Ramadan by having a concert at Kampong Glam. With women singing and dancing, I can only shake my head and let out a sigh. Even if it's just the opening of a new bazaar in Kampong Glam, why can't they show a more respectable concert? Wouldn't it be more berkat to show nasyid? Or Syarahan? Or invite our local Hafiz for Quran recital?

Ok lah.. That's all I can blog about today..

PS: Lagi sikit nak batal puasa this morning. A &^%@ Lexus driver almost caused us to collide onto another car just because he can't make up his mind whether he wants to enter the CTE or not. Arrghh.. Macam nak kena maki! Hubby floored the brake just in time and I can feel the ABS kicked in. Sigh.. Sabar Ayu sabar.. Sesungguhnya kau puasa hari ini..

See what's been keeping me bz lately..

Dear beloved readers..

I know I have been ignoring my blog for so long. Heh.. Me busy lah dgn projek..

Nak tahu projek aper?

BeliApa? Dot Com

Jemputlah masok! Jangan malu, jangan segan..

If you have anything to sell, let us know.. We can help you to sell your products more effectively!

Terima kasih~ Thank you~ Arigato~ Gracias~ Merci Beaucoup~ (etc.. etc.. etc.. you get the drift.. ;p~)

"Real Man's Barbecue"

Let's take a break and chill with this joke.. ** munching Kit Kat **

Enjoy~~

"Real Man's Barbecue"
When a man volunteers to do such cooking, the following chain of events is put into motion.

(1) The woman goes to the store.
(2) The woman fixes the salad, vegetables, and dessert.
(3) The woman prepares the meat for cooking, places it on a tray along with the necessary cooking utensils, and takes it to the man, who is lounging beside the grill, drinking a beer.
(4) The man places the meat on the grill.
(5) The woman goes inside to set the table and check the vegetables.
(6) The woman comes out to tell the man that the meat is burning.
(7) The man takes the meat off the grill and hands it to thewoman.
(8) The woman prepares the plates and brings them to the table.
(9) After eating, the woman clears the table and does the dishes.
(10) The man asks the woman how she enjoyed "her night off."

And, upon seeing her annoyed reaction, concludes that there's just no pleasing some women.

Alhamdulillah..

At 9.59am this morning, I received this sms from Abg Ngah..

"Dr cakap Ayah makin pulih. Alhamdulillah. Tapi masih perlukan oxygen. Dah boleh bedah masukan kat tekak. Hari ni tengah hari dibedah."
- Syahril -

Syukran Alhamdulillah!

For those who are not in the know, the doctors wanted to perform an operation to make a hole on his throat so that they don't have to go through the mouth. Because of the frequent insertion of the tube into his lungs, his throat is swollen and it's very painful for him. This operation will allow the tube to have shorter route to his lungs, thus delivering more oxygen and he will heal faster. InsyaAllah.. But the last few days, his condition had worsen, so the doctors had to postpone the operation until he is well.

Let's hope that this operation will go on smoothly..

Al-Fateha buat Atok tersayang..

Atok passed away yesterday. Innalillahi Wainnalillahi Rojioun~

As I sat in the next room while reciting Surah Yaseen for him, my mind kept on playing scenes that happened yonks ago.. One of them was when he was still working in Singapore. Last time, whenever he came by for a visit, he would always brought along chocolates for his granddaughters (Salimah, Mashita & me of course).

I also remembered one time when we were in the kampong, he brought us along to the back (there's a small patch of land next to Cik Munah's house) to plant a durian seed. He said that in order for that seed to grow, he needs to 'sunatkan'.. that is to remove a certain part of the seed. *chuckles*

He said that we can eat it in the future but he's not sure if he is still alive by then to even have a taste. When my late grandmother (We called her 'Nenek Wa') passed away, he suffered from a stroke and it affected the right part of his body. His right hand was in a permanently 'clawing' position and when he walked with his walking stick, he had to drag his right feet forward.

In the last few months of his life on earth, he just refused to get up and preferred to lie down on the bed to sleep. When he ate, it can get so messy that Mak Lang decided to spoonfeed him instead. Such was the dedication shown by Atok's children.

But when Cik Dol & Bibik from Melaka came to see my dad in SGH last month, they went and visit Atok as well. To everyone's surprised, Atok was able to sit and wanted to eat by himself when he saw that his children actually came to pay him a visit for afar. I was glad to actually get to see him at that time and salam his hand.

Yesterday, after he was bathed and was already shrouded, I get to give him my final farewell by kissing him on his forehead.. and I took great care not to let my tears touch his skin. I also took part in the special prayer for him in the masjid. We were very lucky because the masjid was only a stone's throw away. It's special for me because it was my first time sembahyangkan jenazah. Thanks to Mak Teh for teaching me the niat and how to go about performing it..

Latest update of Ayah for my relatives in KL..
Ayah's condition seems to be stable although he is still heavily sedated. Syukur Alhamdulillah~

I don't know who to believe. Do I believe the doctor who is always giving me bad news and asking me to be prepared for the worst or the nurses who kept on saying that Ayah's condition is stable?

The doctors are slowly trying to wean him off the respirator and see if Ayah can stop his dependency on that machine. His blood is now on the low side and yesterday I saw that they're transfusing blood into him. Sigh.. His hands & legs are swollen, and we are not sure why. And Mak said that yesterday Ayah looked feverish.

So that's all for today.. Will hop by the hospital to see Ayah after work later and will keep you people updated as well.. Tonight also got kenduri doa selamat in Redhill.

Da~~~

Damage done on Ayah's van..

As you can see, most of the damage is on the passenger side of the van, which made me so relieved that my mom wasn't there. We haven't done anything yet to this van. Not sure whether we want to scrap it or to repair and sell it away because one thing for sure we don't want to be in this van anymore. I was told that there are 2 workshops eyeing to service this van. Sigh..

My mom said that a few hundreds SGD$$ that was with Ayah hilang since she said that on the morning before he go to JB, she passed to him SGD$500 and now only left SGD$100++.. And we are not sure who took it.. But we had decided that we are not going to pursue it because we can always earn it back.
I also wanted to blog about the horrible way Ayah was treated in Hospital Sultanah Aminah, but it will just make me angry over & over again.. Sigh..

Yesterday, when we wanted to visit Ayah in SGH, we were informed to put on protective clothing to prevent being infected by this contagious virus that is in Ayah's body. Ya Allah! Give us strength for this test that you are putting my family through..

Sometimes I ask why.. And found the reason here..

"Are the people proud of is thinking that they will be left alone because they say, 'We believe and they will not be tested? And undoubtedly We tested those before them, therefore Allah will necessarily, see the truthful and will necessarily, see the liars." Surah Al-Ankabut (1-2)

When I ponder about the things that we are going through right now, I remember that Allah will never test us beyond what we can bear.

"[This is a fact that] God does not burden a person beyond his capacity. [It is His law that] he alone will get what it earned and he alone will pay for what he did – Lord, take us not to task if we forget or lapse into error, and Lord, do not lay on us a burden such as You laid on those before us. And Lord, do not burden us with what we cannot bear. And pardon us, and forgive us our sins, and have mercy upon us. You alone are our Lord and help us against these disbelievers [who are confronting us as enemies]." ~ Excerpts from Surah Al-Baqarah (285-286)

Me & hubby was compiling a CD containing all the Surahs in Quran so that we can play it in the hospital for Ayah to hear and also to mask the horrible sound the ventilator is making at the side of the bed. Hearing the Quran being recited with such a beautiful voice (Sheikh Sa'ad Al-Ghamdi) created such a calming atmosphere that I nearly shed a tear.

Islam is so beautiful..

Perfect..

And I fall in love with it all over again..

Lelong lelong..!!

Me helping out my sis-in-law with her business..

Here are the pictures of some of the stuffs for sale..
Let me know if you are interested, I will get her to contact you..

I simply love the watches.. Very noice~~~

Thank God for the invention of concealer~~

Sorry for not updating my blog lately. A lot of things had happened since the past 2 weeks and I am still trying to make sense of it all. To make it worst, hub was on 2 weeks reservist (3 days in camp and then 2 days go back home.. This goes on for 2 weeks!) and he wasn't there to console me and lie to me that it will all be better.. He wasn't there to hold my hands and kissed all the pain away and I kept waking up with puffy eyes..
Well.. there's nothing that the makeup can't cover, really.. Thank God for the invention of concealer~~

Within 1 week, 2 accidents had happened. One was kinda serious but the other one was fatal.
My dad was involved in one of them. Currently he is in the ICU and doing quite well.. Alhamdulillah..
Insyallah by next week, he will be transferred to the normal ward. Special thanks to Kak Mas & Kak Idah for being there for me with their kind words, prayers & encouragements and also for arranging their friends to pray for my dad during the Friday prayers.

As for the fatal accident, it claimed the life of hub's cousin, Saiful Aidil Bin Amin.
Innalillahi wainna lillahi rajioun~
I will always miss his gregarious laughter that always managed to fill up the room. He looked so peaceful when he was being shrouded with kain kafan. Sigh.. Someone said his face is very bersih.. It goes to show that orang nyer baik2..
His departure made me see how fragile life is.. and I keep on reminding (or you can call it nagging~) hub to always always always drive safely and it's simply not worth it to speed or race with other cars. I simply love him too much that I keep telling him that he can only die after I die because I don't think I am strong enough to live without him. So the drama mama kan? Hehehe..

I seriously don't know how to pick up the pieces if any of my loved ones were to leave me. The only one who really reeeeally made an impact on me when they left will be my late maternal grandmother. To me that was the biggest lost ever~ She passed away when I was in secondary 1 and life in kampung have never been the same ever. I missed her so much and I still do. *sob* *sob*

I guess that's all I can blog about for today. Too depressed to continue because while I was typing this, my sister just smsed me and said that the doctors had to re-insert the breathing tube back because the lung infection got worst and my dad is not getting enough oxygen. Sigh.. Anyway, fyi, this post took a few days to update.. It just sat there in the draft column, looking sad and forlorn till I had the time to update it.. ;p~

PS: I have now decided to allow my beloved readers to input comments for my posts.

ROFLMAO~~~

OMG~! I just saw this picture on her blog and I almost fell off my chair laughing..




Do they have to wear padded bra to prevent unwanted leakage?

Hahahahahahahahaha..

** wipes tear off eyes **

Lets Dad experience the joys of motherhood..
I am just waiting for the Japanese to invent the contraption that will allow Dad to experience the joy of childbirth..
;p~

Here's a man who makes lemonade when life threw him a lemon, stolen his apples and kicked him in the crotch..

Everytime I get bogged down by the ugliness we all have to live with, I come to mr brown's site, see his family photos, read his funnies, hear his hilarious podcasts and I'll feel so much better.

Despite being victimised ** cough ** bullied ** cough **, mr brown continues to contribute positively to the lives of Singaporeans, very commendable.

Thank you, mr brown..

Keep the Faith~~

So say we all..

PS: Unless you've been following the things that's been going between mr brown & Ministry for Information, Communications and the Arts (MICA), you'll never understand what I am blabbering about~ Heh!

** Ehem ** Betty Crocker in the making.. Or Martha Stewart perhaps~?

When I was in secondary school, one of the lessons taught in Home Econs class was 'How to bake Chelsea buns'.
I used to love these buns (and still do~) because it's so easy to make and it's versatile. No matter how badly you roll the dough, it still turned out gorgeous.. Heh.. ;p~
No one ever told me that I can substitute the raisins with chocolate chips but voila~ It turned out to be yummylicious! And I simply love the aroma of the buns baking in the oven because I sprinkled a bit of cinnamon powder in it. Mmmm.. Heavenly..

I baked these sinful buns yesterday and I felt like I was transported back into my Home Econs class in Rangoon Secondary. I fondly recall Mrs Ser watchful eyes, eyeing my every move and commenting my postures when I am punching the dough. Hahaha.. She said that I must act like a lady and be demure (She's very persistent, though.. And nobody, absolutely no one can tahan her nagging)..

Anyway, here's a picture of my buns.......................

.......................................................................................

Chelsea buns lah dey~ Chet.. Busuk punyer orang..




Honestly, the picture doesn't seems to do it justice.. Blame it on my crappy 1.3 MegaPixel O2 mini camera.

__________________________________________________________

Ok.. Enough about my hot & gorgeous buns..

I had a terrible, horrible nightmare the other day..
I did something very very very bad in that dream... :(
It was so horrible and so terrible that when I shared it with Hubby, he kinda looked at me funny. But thank God he never judged me. It was just a dream after all~

I am still shocked and bloody terrified of myself right now. And trying very hard to get it out of my head right now because everytime I shut my eyes, I can see snippets of that dream, like a gory trailer of a horror movie. Arrghhh...

** Shudder~ **

A word from our sponsor..

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~ Sekian Terima Kasih ~

~ The End ~

The silence is broken..

I was bloghopping while waiting for hubby to fetch me from work and came across something that I think everyone I know should read.

Here's an excerpt from that blog,

“Ahpunehneh” is not a proper word.
It is not a Tamil word. Nor it is an English word. Nor it is a Greek word. Hell, it is NOT even a word. It is gibberish of the purest kind. Yes, yes. I hear all the gasping and “Did you hear that?!” and “Is it true?”. Yes it’s true. If there is one gibberish that is to be flushed down the toilet, this is it.
I am tired. Tired beyond words to explain what this gibberish has done. I am pretty much sure almost all my Indian counterparts will agree. Been called “Ahpunehneh” in a country that calls itself happily multiracial. There is nothing happy about this. I now take it upon myself to give all my clueless Singaporeans a much needed enlightment on this. Read and read well. And pass it on. Because the next time i hear or read that blasted gibberish, I won’t be patient. Anymore.

Next. Repeat after me. Brown is not black. Black is not brown. We have people from different walks of life and somehow in this nationwide disorder, almost all chinese cannot differentiate brown from black. Once again another example that happened to me. This happened in the first year of uni. After one of the lectures, i was waiting at the back of the lecture room, for a couple of my clique guys. This part of the lecture room was not lit but rest assured the rest of the room was. So it is understood the part i was standing wasn’t pitch black. Then another guy from another clique, who was standing near me, turned and said this “Hey TC, why you stand there? You so black, still stand there. Cannot see you lor. *Insert laughter*” The following was the connversation that happened between us after he said this. All my replies were said in a deadpan face and tone... "

(Read more about it here)

I think almost all of us (me included) are guilty of calling other races degrading remarks like for e.g. 'keling', 'cinone', 'ahpuneneh', 'cher'..

This have to stop, people.

Really~

I cringed whenever I hear my friends refer to indians as kelings. Or when it came out of my mouth accidentally. Yikes~

After reading that post, it just make me feel really bad..

Ok lah.. Gotta wash my mouth with soap now.. ;p~

Bye~~

The dawn of a new beginning.. Haha.. Macam real jek~~~

I haven't blog for a while. Been very busy lately. Sigh..

Oh ya~ I've started donning the hijab and have been receiving lots of unwanted comments from around me. Some of the comments can be a little too insensitive that I really feel like giving them the infamous 'birdie'.. My patience with these people are beginning to stretch a little too thin and I can just explode right there in front of their faces. What some of them need is a good 'bitch-slap' from me! Muahahaha..

Some of them are curious as to why I started wearing them. I just replied to them that it's too personal for any Tom, Dick or Harry to just know about it. And besides, it's really none of their business.

Previously, a lot of people thought that I don't cover my aurat because I am vain. Sigh..
I hate it when people jump to conclusions just like that. Oh come on~ I have frizzy hair that refused to stay the way I desired it to be. Wearing a tudung would be like a relief to me if I were to be vain. It's so easy to just hide my dry, rebellious hair from trying to style it. Arrghh.. Anyway, I know I look good wearing a tudung. What the hell.. I look even better wearing it than NOT wearing it. Nevertheless, I don't want the reason for me to cover my aurat to be a vain one. Because physical beauty never last. It'll fade away and what remains behind will be my faith, inner beauty & my inner strength.

A lot of people close to me have been asking me to wear one for quite sometime but I resisted because I realised that if I were to succumb to such pressure from them, it won't be something that comes from within. It will always be remembered as, "I did it because somebody said I should". So it's not a sincere act on my part.

I know it's compulsory. Like duh~~
The thing is, I've seen a lot of women who made a mockery of wearing a tudung. It's really shameful that I feel embarrassed to be associated with them. It's really hilarious when one of such women actually lectured me about wearing it. Haiz..

They cover their head.. but they still continue to gossip..
They cover their head.. but they still wear tight clothes that show the curves on their bodies..
They cover their head.. but still their heart habour dark intentions..
They cover their head.. but they don't pray..
They cover their head.. but they behave worst than a whore..

And then they feel that it's their God given rights to tell me to wear one. And chastised me when I pointed out all these points to them. Their reply? "Hey, at least I am covered!"

What the &^%$?

Fine..

I admit this is a sensitive issue for muslim women. Some of them like to sweep this under the rug instead of discussing it with me because, the points that I brought up ARE valid. Some even labelled me as old-fashioned for thinking like that~

Some women said that my lifestyle won't change when I start wearing a tudung. They said I can continue going to swimming lah, go roller blading lah.. etc etc.. But when I checked again, I realised that these claims contradict each other.

Yes you can go swimming. But only if the place is only for ladies and it's not in the public where the men can see you.

Why so strict?

Some will say, "Islam tidak memberatkan umatnya.." And then they put on the tudung, long sleeve t-shirt, long pants.. and dive into the mixed public swimming pool..
What they don't know is that, when their clothes are wet, they cling to you like a second skin and every inch of your body is exposed like as if you are naked. Bleah~~ No difference from watching Baywatch.. Really~~~

Then some said, "Islam is moving forward. Mengikut arus kemodenan."
But what was stated in the Quran?

Surah an-Nur verse 31 clearly states,
"And say to the faithful women to lower their gazes, and to guard their private parts, and not to display their adornment except what is apparent of it, and to extend their headcoverings (khimars) to cover their bosoms (jaybs), and not to display their adornment except to their husbands, or their fathers, or their husband's fathers, or their sons, or their husband's sons, or their brothers, or their brothers' sons, or their sisters' sons, or their womenfolk, or what their right hands rule (slaves), or the followers from the men who do not feel sexual desire, or the small children to whom the nakedness of women is not apparent, and not to strike their feet (on the ground) so as to make known what they hide of their adornments. And turn in repentance to Allah together, O you the faithful, in order that you are successful."
(Shamelessly copied from http://www.muhajabah.com/surah-an-nur.htm)

What is it about the verse above that can be modernised? We can't even show the curves on our bodies and have to wear loose clothing. Sigh...

And I haven't even touch on what my non-muslim friends have commented. That would take forever seh~
Most of the time I'll just ignore their questions because some of them are meant to mock me & my religion.
And then ah.. Some people can live all their live side-by-side with a muslim and yet still be ignorant about Islam. I mean, they ask really ignorant questions! Macam nak kena smack~

The reason why I decided to wear tudung is...
It's a long story.. so bear with me..

On 24/06/06, my mom was warded in the ICU in Tan Tock Seng. She had difficulty breathing due to the build-up of fluid in her lungs.
When I saw that sms from Busu, in my heart I panicked. Oh no oh no oh no oh no~
Then the thoughts of losing her seemed so real. I can't help but think about the Lina's mom who passed away while she was in the ICU.
Along and family, Ayah and all of us rushed down to TTSH. Because of state she was in, no one was allowed in to see her. So the rest of them left for home that evening but my in-laws and my hubby stayed with me because the doctor wanted to have a word with me.
It was nearly eight when the doctor came. I also get to see her as well. She was unconcious, with all kinds of tubes inserted into her. It wasn't a sight that I was ready for. I almost broke down in tears seeing her like that.
I kissed her dearly on the forehead and fought back the tears. She was sedated because it would be very painful for her if she's awake. Her hands were cold and she stirred when I tried to massage some warmth into her. I would had traded half my life with God, everything I have.. just so that she won't be in that position.. To make it even worst, the doctor told me that her heart was not beating regularly. It was very weak.

The nurse passed me her belongings to take home. Her blouse and bra was cut open. And there was blood splattered on my mom's bag.
That night, as I washed the blood from my mom's bag in the bathroom, the dam burst. I couldn't stop crying. A million scenarios kept on playing on my head.. What if this.. What if that..
I remembered that I've never prayed so hard in my life. I prayed to God to lessen her burden. I prayed that if she was meant to be taken away from me, I asked God for the strength to let her go.

And then, I made a small niat, that I will start donning the hijab when my mom's condition had stabilised and taken out from that dreaded ICU.

And lo & behold~~
The next morning, my dad called and said that she was taken to a normal ward. I was so relieved with that piece of news that whatever my dad said after that didn't really register in my brain. Hehehe.. I didn't even copied down the location of the ward.

When I told hub of my niat, he seemed pleased with me. He said he supported my decision. That morning, when I wake up feeling so weak and drained but when I heard the news, I feel re-energised. Hub was really amused with my behaviour.

So, that's the story behind the new me~
I know I may not be wearing it perfectly, but I am still in the process of learning.
Everyday I ask for forgiveness from Allah, because although I am covered physically, I have lots of photos that show otherwise. I pray for Allah to understand and give me more time.

And also, if I've offended some of the readers with this post, I am truly sorry..

Tapi kan..

Saper yang makan cili, dia lah yang terasa pedas nyer~

;p~

About moi~

I think it's time to introduce myself to all my fans out there. It seems that this blog is getting more popular with repeat readers coming back for more of my almost daily rants. Heh..

I was born on the 5th of May 1981 (Which means I am only 24 this year, will still remain to be 24 the year after next and so on and so forth) and my name is Nor Idayu. (Nor = Nur = Light & Ayu = Beautiful. So the meaning behind my name is the 'Light Of Beauty' ROFL!!!). I am a part-time supermodel with an uncanny resemblance to Angelina Jolie. I just joined the X-Men a few months back, and right now I am being trained by Professor X to learn to control my telekinetic power. ;p~ *yeah, it's lame.. I know.. Bleah~~*

I grew up in Kallang Bahru but now I am staying in Ubi with my in-laws. Kallang will always have a special place in my heart because it was my playground and held so much fond childhood memories. Like, whenever it rains heavily and a tiny field next to my block is flooded, I will instantly recall the time when my friends and I collected a few hundreds of tadpoles there. We were hoping to make a few bucks by selling them after they turn into little froggies but they died the next day. I love splashing around barefooted in the mud, without a care in the world. That was until my mom screamed at me from the 3rd floor to go home and shower. Hahahaha..

Remember the old-fashion playground? Not the new colourful wimpy ones that they have now but the real deal. The ones filled with sand and hard concrete shaped like funny looking animals? I love those! There were a few of them around Kallang and my favourite was the one behind my block. There was a lot of tyres hung around the playground for kids to swing around like little Tarzans. We made it even better by putting a long wooded plank in between these tyres to connect them together. This method will create a huge swing, and we all would sat on the planks. Some of the brave ones (i.e me) will sit on the ends of the plank to swing it higher and higher till one of us fall down and die......

Just kidding!

Yes there were lots of bloody bruises and cuts but we just laughed it off. No one came home crying to get their parents to scold us. No parents have to make a big hoo-haa of it in the newspapers. You know why? Because we were tougher and are a lot cooler than the new generations. Hah! But it's really hard to be cool & tough when you are bending down and your mom was trying to remove a wooden splinter from your butt as a result from playing with wooden planks found near a contruction site.

Ok ok.. I've digressed.

Back to my introduction. I am the third child. The eldest is my Sis (Along), followed by my Bro (Abang Ngah), Me and lastly is my Lil Sis (Busu).
My mom is a homemaker cum traditional masseuse. She provides pre & post-natal massages as well. Ladies only. But if men are interested, I can refer you to my Dad. He uses the rolling pin (it's studded with rusty nails for added pleasure) though, so if you are into pain and torture, let me know okay?

My Dad currently works as a security guard in some condominium. He had retired from his another security guard job in Cisco but he can't rest yet. Funny how I used to dislike my father while I was a teenager but now I find him to be very endearing. I do love him very much but of course, it's not shown openly. He is a very hardworking man and selfless, taking overtimes to put all of us through tertiary educations. From the look on his face, I know he is tired from working so hard all his life.

Along, the eldest of us all, is the smallest. Hahaha.. Seriously! She's married, a homemaker and have 4 wonderful daughters. My favourite is Huda, so don't tell the rest, okay. ;p~ Anyway, I love babies. Once a new baby comes along, I will definitely fall in love all over again.
Her hubby is the infamous Abang Yunos from Themephotography. My wedding photos were sponsored by him and it was fantastic! (Mainly because the bride was gorgeous lah). Their princesses are Nadhira (Lolong), Haziqah (Ngangah), Nabila (Kak Cik) & Huda. They are a bunch of makcik kaypo and are so kecohrables & adorable. My eardrums are still ringing from the effect of their shrill voices. I personally think that all three of them can beat the X-Men Siren's superpower anytime anywhere. Hahaha.. I love them to bits! As you can read from my previous post, Along is expecting her 5th child. A son. Syukur Alhamdulillah~ Can't wait to see him in October. InsyaAllah~

Abang Ngah? He is just my annoying & irritating big brother. And he is still the same now even though he is 30 years old. He's the biggest among us and his tummy can rival my Sis (who is currently 4 months pregnant). I used to call him 'Beruang' because he was a big brute and very clumsy which really reminded me of the grizzly bear. He is also married and have a son with Kak Reena. We (as in me and bro) can't seem to see eye-to-eye with each other and will always try to annoy and irritate one another. Heh.. A lot of my girlfriends used to have a crush on him, so I can say that he is good-looking *OMG! I can't believe I just said that!* or they seriously should have their eyes checked. Kak Reena is my sweet sister-in-law who also have helped me a lot. She is very different from me because she is always very organised, well-prepared and uses colour-coordinated stuffs. Unlike me, the unorganised & messy chick.

The last person on my list will be Busu. Presently she's studying in Temasek Poly (my old school) and pursuing an IT diploma. She is 17 years old this year. I used to be close to her when she was in primary school but we drifted apart after that. As much as I wanted her not to end up jaded, cynical and broken like me, I would also like her to go out and explore the world to make her own judgement. I just hope that she will excel in whatever she puts her mind in.

My personal dislikes?
I can't stand stupid people. Let me define what I consider stupid before you people start hollering hokkien expletives to me.

If you can't spell, you are not stupid by default.
If you can't spell and have no intentions to improve yourself, then you are a moron.
If you can't spell and have no intentions in improving yourself and when I pointed out the error to you, you starts to spew weak & stupid reasons to defend your mistakes............... then you are a bloody moron. No one can help you unless you pull yourself out of that sh*thole you've dug up for yourself..
I know the difference between a typo and an obvious spelling error, thank you very much. By the way, I know I am not perfect either, so let me know if I've made any spelling or grammar mistakes in my posts and I'll be eternally grateful.

I can't stand road hoggers who hog the over-taking lane. If you think that by driving on that lane within the legal speed limit of 90kmph is sufficient, then you are dead wrong. Arghhhhh!
OTHER VEHICLES NEED TO USE THAT LANE FOR OVERTAKING! THAT IS WHAT THAT LANE IS FOR, YOU IDIOT! THAT LANE IS NOT FOR YOU TO CRUISE LEISURELY!! STOP HOGGING THAT &^%$ING LANE, YOU OBNOXIOUS MORON!
I will not hesitate to flash my dainty little middle finger at you once my hubby overtakes you dangerously on your left! The usual culprit seems to be taxi drivers and tai-tais driving luxury sedan.

There's also a group of people that I really dislike. I refer to these individuals as 'Toxic Turd' due to the fact that most of the things that came out of their mouth are foul-smelling words that is delivered to hurt the recipient's feeling.
Let me give you a fine example: Aisah gave me this blouse that is black & white, with huge sleeves that kinda look 'Japanesey' (Got such word?). I like it very much, wore it to work a few times and received compliments for it. But there's this toxic turd at work who said, 'Eh, you wear that tablecloth to work again ah?'. Obviously, she's jealous that she can't fit into this tablecloth because of all the disgusting lard hanging around her body. Me, being all so gracious & nice, just smiled at her and looked away. But you can imagine the turmoil going around in my head. I came up with hundreds of witty and sarcastic rebuttals to bombard her and render her speechless. One of my favourites was, 'Gosh [insert toxic turd's name here] , don't tell me you are pregnant AGAIN? How far along are you? 8 months?'. Ouch~
I honestly believe that these toxic individuals are placed on earth with a sole purpose to bash up and crush your self-esteem & self-worth. What to do when you encounter these turds? You can always counter-attack their comments by coming up with an equally painful remarks about their appearance, or you can just ignore them and let them be.

Once again, I got carried away and bore my beloved readers with such a lengthy post.

Au revoir~

Another death within a week..

Remember when I blogged that someone's mother had fallen down in the bathroom and was warded in the ICU?

Well, she didn't make it. She passed away last Saturday night and her funeral was held on Sunday afternoon.

Inna Lillahi Wa Inna Ilayhi Rajioun~

Sigh.. And it's only the 12th day of June.
Aisah told me that her colleague's daughter's baby died after it was delivered. I am using the term 'it' because I am not sure of the baby's sex.. I can't imagine the mother's anguish after finding out that the baby is dead after delivering it. *sob* *sob* She must have been crushed..

However, here are some good news to cheer me up~
After the funeral yesterday, we drove to Kallang to visit my parents. Mom's left eye have recovered fully. Alhamdulillah~ She can see clearly through it and it's not red anymore. Nor does it hurt any longer.
My sis and nieces were there as well, which made the visit even more joyful. I missed Huda soooooo much~ Hehehe.. She's so cute and so well behave. How on earth did my sis train her to be like that? Hub can just pick her up to cuddle her and she didn't freak out. And I love the way hub handle her.. *Sigh wistfully* I wish I can just bring her home with me. Tempting sia~~ To kidnap my own niece?? Hahaha.. Let's hope she can fit in my purse.

Another good news is that the gender of my sis's baby is known already. IT'S A BOY! Oh boy oh boy oh boy! *chuckles*
I think Abg Yunos must have been jumping for joy once he heard the news. That's because I myself nearly jumped out of my chair last friday when the kids msn me about it! We didn't really say anything much after the news that my sis was pregnant again broke out. When my aunt confided in me that she had a dream that the baby is a girl, she cautioned me not to tell my sister. Everyone had their lips tightly sealed, in case they are going to be disappointed again. It's not that baby boys are better than baby girls, but I can understand why someone who already have 4 daughters would yearn for a son.
But the question is, how my sis is going to handle all the 5 kids? With 2 babies? I'll be glad if she allow me to take care of 1 of it.. Especially Huda.. *grins* She's such a joy to be with!

Another thing.. I don't think it's a good news.. and I don't think it can be categorised under bad news either. It really depends lah..
I think my little sister have a boyfriend. *scratch head* But she denied it and insist that he's just a friend. Like duh~~~ *roll eyes* She must have thought that I was just born yesterday.
.. Been there, done that ..
Me & hub saw them under the block, sitting and talking at the bench downstairs. But she brought along 2 of my nieces as chaperones. Lol!
I am worried. I have tonnes of advices to give to her but I know that if I am not careful, it might fall onto deaf ears.

I hope she reads my blog, though.

Ila, here are my words of wisdom.. Chet! macam betul jer aku ni ;p~

Be smart, gal.. I know that I haven't been the best role model but at least let my painful experiences be a lesson to you.
Men will always say things that you wanted to hear. They'll whisper sweet nothings into your ears that will make you believe things they wanted you to believe. The truth is, they may have other plans in their sick & twisted little minds. There are loads of wolves dressed in sheeps' clothing. Be wary of these wolves, dear~..

But then again, bear in mind that not all men are like that.. There are some who will respect you and will never take advantage of you. Men who will take 1 step at a time, never rushing you and helping you to make sense of strange things that happens in life because they see the world from the other side of the river and they understand things that we women never will. These men are considered to be rare gems and it is up to you to see & judge for yourself.

I can't and will never be able to control what you say or do.
Kau dah besar, nak~ Pepandai lah kau jaga diri..
Because I'd been where you are right now and the more I was controlled, the more I rebelled. And that is the last thing I want you to do.
I just hope that you are smart enough not to repeat my mistakes. I'd wasted a lot of time, energy and money on useless guys who........... are really not worth it at all *Grrr.. those @#$&%!*

Anyway, I am not saying that you can't make any mistakes at all.
Go forth and explore.. It's been historically proven that human learn a lot more from their own errors than from other people's experiences. The trick is, to know why it happens and not to repeat them..
Sis, I want you to know that you can always approach me for help or advices. If you think that by confiding in bestfriends are going to help you, well.. think again. My ex-bestfriends' bad advices were the ones that always landed me into trouble previously. Although I can't blame them 100% because they meant well.

Contrary to what you may have believed, I am actually an easy-going and open-minded sister. I've spent a lot of time being with colourful people from all blocks of life, that nothing you say or do can ever make my jaw drop in awe/disgust/shame/envy. Let's hope that would never happen, ok? It's a different ball game altogether when sh*t happens to your own flesh and blood. Heh~
Oh ya, just want to let you know that talking to you nowadays have become a tad more tolerable ever since we don't live under the same roof anymore.

Hahaha..
Sad but true..

Tata for now~~

Inna Lillahi Wa Inna Ilayhi Rajioun

~Inna Lillahi Wa Inna Ilayhi Rajioun~
:: We are from Allah and to Allah we shall return ::

A life was lost yesterday..
What a waste.. Such a waste..

I mourn for you..
I mourn for your lost love..
I mourn for your lost son..
I mourn for your lost brother..
I mourn for your lost friend..
I promised myself that I would not cry..
When I see all of you breaking down and cry from the pain and the guilt..
I just couldn't stop myself.. It's only natural..
But all the tears in the world is not going to make him come back again..

I heard so many voices yesterday..
'He's so young..'
'He's so stupid..'
'He's so romantic..'
'He's so brave..'
'What a moron..'
'What he is trying to prove..'
I bite my tongue and reserve my comments..
Who am I to judge your actions?
No one knows what really happened.. only you..
We can only speculate what you'd done to yourself based on the series of events that look like a huge jigsaw puzzle to us..

I just hope that you will finally find the peace that you've been looking for..
I shall pray for you.. May Allah forgive you.
Amin.

:: RIP ::
1978 ~ 2006

Who is afraid of the dark?

Last night, hub played a mean trick on me. He was acting all creepy and looked at me in a scary way. I was watching Seinfeld on Starworld when he switched the TV off. We were teasing each other earlier on and he had hidden the TV remote control. So I just walked over to the TV and turn it on by using the buttons on it.
After that, he switched the TV off from the main switch, gave me a creepy smile and rolled his eyes (to show the white side of his eyes). I hate it whenever he did that kinda thing because it reminded me of my mean older brother who love to frighten me when I was a little girl.
When I ignored him and went to the toilet, he switched off the lights while I was inside! I quickly ran out of the bathroom and sat on the bed because I was afraid of the dark. He then proceeded to give me that same creepy smile and switched off ALL the lights in the bedroom. The only light that was available came from the PC green LED. The green LED flashes on and off continuously on hub's face and it also gave the dark room a creepy atmosphere. Hub kept on looking at my face with no expression on his face and it really frightened the hell out of me. *faint* I can't believe that I am afraid of my own husband.
I couldn't move my legs. My heart was beating very fast. I panicked so I did the most sensible thing I could think of at that moment...................................................................................

that is to cover my face with a pillow to avoid Azmi's creepy face and ...
....
....
....
cried like a little wussy! Hahahaha.. I felt so silly after everything was over. See, I told you that I am a scaredy cat!

Of course he apologised. His reason for doing that to me? He thought that I can face my fear and get it over with. So that he don't have to accompany me to the kitchen when I have to make myself a cup of milo in the middle of the night. Hahahahaha..

I can't help it lah. I have an hyperactive imagination. In the dark, with my poor night vision, I will imagine that the beige-coloured towel that is draped onto the computer chair is a lady in white looking at me with her bloodshot eyes. The terror can grip me so hard that I couldn't move a single muscle. This new fear started to plague me ever since I move to Ubi. When I was staying in Kallang, I could walk around in the dark even when the whole house was only illuminated by the stars in the sky. I know every bumps and every cracks in every corner of that house. I enjoyed being alone at night and could go to the bathroom without even turning on the lights.

Sigh..

Maybe I haven't really adjusted myself to this Ubi house. It's my first time staying in a big house whereas all my life I am used to a 3-room flat. In Ubi, I feel like I am being watched and I hated the deafening silence when I am all alone. I have to turn on the TV or the mp3 player to keep me company.. Which is a lot of difference because I used to enjoy the silent calming atmosphere in my old home.

I love the way my parents' bedroom looked like in the afternoon when the sun is shining onto the bed from the opened window. I love to lie down on their bed right where the sun is shining on because it's warm and it makes me feel like I am lying next to my mother. And whenever I used to lie down on my parents' bed to take a nap, there is this smell that comforted me. I can't describe the smell to you but I guess you can experience it yourself when you just take a deep whiff of a towel that was washed and hung to dry in the sun.

And if I were to smell something similar somewhere else, I feel like I am being transported back into that room with the sun shining on that bed. Then the feeling of emptiness / happiness / sadness will sometimes overwhelm me that it can bring tears to my eyes. But it depends on my mood at that time.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Analysis of my handwriting..

I took a test to analyse my handwriting and here is my result. Surprisingly, a lot of it describe me kinda accurately. Especially about the procastinating, me being sarcastic and the sharp 'm' part. The truth hurts.. but I guess it's ok. I already know that I am the Queen of Procrastination. Lol!

For a graphologist, the spacing on the page reflects the writer's attitude toward their own world and relationship to things in his or her own space. If the inputted data was correct Ayu has left lots of white space on the all four borders of the paper. Ayu fills up just the center area of the page. If this is true, then Ayu has a particular shyness toward people and a fear of moving too fast in any direction. In some cultures, respecting people, rules, and adhering to protocol are ways of life. The right side of the page represents the future and the left side represents the past. Ayu seems a bit stuck in the middle, afraid to take action. Ayu seems to have a fear of looking bad or of crossing boundries. It will be easy to work with Ayu on a team, because Ayu will usually follow the rules. However, this desire to respect the boundries can often be construed as a lack of confidence and people will walk over Ayu if she is not careful.

Ayu has a healthy imagination and displays a fair amount of trust. She lets new people into her circle of friends. She uses her imagination to understand new ideas, things, and people.

Ayu is very self-sufficient. She is trying not to need anyone. She is capable of making it on her own. She probably wants and enjoys people, but she doesn't "need" them. She can be a loner.

Ayu has a tendency to put things off, Ayu procrastinates. She sometimes pretends to be busy, so she will not have to do whatever she is putting off. She is often late to appointments or deadlines. This usually leads to a great amount of effort at the last minute to meet the deadline. Procrastination is an important factor as it relates to her output on the job or at school. Remember, Ayu will put it off until later. Procrastination is easily overcome through a simple stroke adjustment in the handwriting.

Ayu is sarcastic. This is a defense mechanism designed to protect her ego when she feels hurt. She pokes people harder than she gets poked. These sarcastic remarks can be very funny. They can also be harsh, bitter, and caustic at the same time.

Ayu is a practical person whose goals are planned, practical, and down to earth. This is typical of people with normal healthy self-esteem. She needs to visualize the end of a project before she starts. she finds joy in anticipation and planning. Notice that I said she plans everything she is going to do, that doesn't necessarily mean things go as planned. Ayu basically feels good about herself. She has a positive self-esteem which contributes to her success. She feels she has the ability to achieve anything she sets her mind to. However, she sets her goals using practicality-- not too "out of reach". She has enough self-confidence to leave a bad situation, yet, she will not take great risks, as they relate to her goals. A good esteem is one key to a happy life. Although there is room for improvement in the confidence catagery, her self-perception is better than average.

Because Ayu has sharp needle pointed 'm' and 'n' humps, she has a very sharp mind. She instantly sizes up situations, making instant decisions. She thinks and evaluates circumstances very rapidly. Many people with this type of mind are geniuses, thus she may be seen as highly intelligent. Ayu is often irritated by slow talkers or slow thinkers. If she drives, she gets irritated by slow drivers in the fast lane. She quickly becomes bored when being taught on the level of the slowest student in class. She may be on problem number three when the rest of the class is on problem one. Ayu is curious and very active. In fact, in school she might have been a trouble maker because she thought so much faster than the other kids, she finished her work first, thus having plenty of time on her hands to make trouble!

Diplomacy is one of Ayu's best attributes. She has the ability to say what others want to hear. She can have tact with others. She has the ability to state things in such a way as to not offend someone else. Ayu can disagree without being disagreeable.

Ayu is secretive. She has secrets which she does not wish to share with others. She intentionally conceals things about herself. She has a private side that she intends to keep that way, especially concerning certain events in her past.

Ayu uses judgment to make decisions. She is ruled by her head, not her heart. She is a cool, collected person who is usually unexpressive emotionally. Some may see her as unemotional. She does have emotions but has no need to express them. She is withdrawn into herself and enjoys being alone. The circumstances when Ayu does express emotions include: extreme anger, extreme passion, and tremendous stress. If someone gets her mad enough to tell her off, she will not be sorry about it later. She puts a mark in her mind when someone angers her. She keeps track of these marks and when she hits that last mark she will let them know they have gone too far. She is ruled somewhat by self-interest. All her conclusions are made without outside emotional influence. She is very level-headed and will remain calm in an emergency situation. In a situation where other people might get hysterical, she has poise. Ayu will work more efficiently if given space and time to be alone. She would rather not be surrounded by people constantly. In a relationship, she will show her love by the things she does rather than by the things she says. Saying "I love you" is not a needed routine because she feels her mate should already know. The only exception to this is if she has logically concluded that it is best for her mate to hear her express her love verbally. Ayu is not subject to emotional appeals. If someone is selling a product to her, they will need to present only the facts. They should present them from a standpoint of her sound judgment. She will not be taken in by an emotional story about someone else. She will meet emergencies without getting hysterical and she will always ask "Is this best for me?"

People that write their letters in an average height and average size are moderate in their ability to interact socially. According to the data input, Ayu doesn't write too large or too small, indicating a balanced ability to be social and interact with others.

I got this from Songde's blog. So if you want to get your handwriting analysed, just click on this link --> http://www.handwritingwizard.com/main.phtml
My advice to you before you attempt to take the test is to write a few paragraphs on a piece of blank paper.

BUZZzzzzz...

I've been a busy little bee lately. Been buzzing around in the office and at home. So many things have happened and yet I can't find the time to write about it.

Let me recall..
30/05/06 - While I was at work, I received an sms from Pak Busu saying that my grandfather had fall down and his head was bleeding profusely. If you can refer to the previous post about how someone I know is in a coma because of a fall, you can imagine how I freaked out when I read that message. Then when I called him on the phone, he sounded like he was in a panic. Gosh.. It was another 30 mins before I could go home. Couldn't think straight. My elder sister sms the same thing to me. They tried contacting my brother but his handphone was off. So I called Azmi and tell him that we need to rush to Lakeside after work to see Atok.
He was finally wheeled to the clinic and thank God nothing bad happened. He just needed a few stitches on his head for the cut. Everyone was there except for my mom. She needed to rest at home because she was supposed to have an operation the next day.

31/05/06 - Mom went for cataract operation on her left eye. It was supposed to be a simple operation but end up my mom kept on vomitting hours after she was operated on. Luckily me and hub was there to help her. The nurse had to give her a special injection to keep the food down but it didn't work. She kept throwing up whatever the nurse gave to her. So we decided to just hurry up and bring her back home. On the way back, she nearly vomitted in hub's car.
But after eating a bowl of porridge, the vomitting bouts stopped and then I let her lie down and rest. Cian mak..
As for me, dah lah penat kat spital belom hilang, then I have to clean the house in Kallang and cook and make sure everything was ok before I left for Ubi. Mom said that this operation is more painful than the one performed on her right eye. We brought this up to the doctor but she can't find anything abnormal. After a few days later, Mom said that it's feeling a bit better so there was no need to worry.

01/06/06 - 05/06/06
My partner was on leave, so I was kept on my toes at work. Due to the heavy workload, migraine managed to sneak in to give me hell. Gulped down 2 tabs of Pacofen with 2 cups of coffee to keep myself sane and alive.

The weekend was relaxing for me though. We stayed at home lazing around, doing laundry and playing games on the xbox. We were supposed to send my grandfather to JB but my aunt cancelled it at the last minute. There was a wedding dinner of hub's friend to attend to but we didn't go since he have to be on standby for a server migration at work. Haiz...
We didn't even go to my dad's relatives' wedding in JB because of this. So we just send our regards to them through my mom.

Oh ya.. Kak Hafizah finally getting married on 27th Aug this year. I am so excited for her. Hehehe. I can't wait to go to her wedding in KL because I heard her wedding theme is going to be almost the same as mine.
And then there's another wedding to attend to in Melaka during the same month. *scratch head*
This one must attend because the bride is Cik Nor's youngest sister. Cik Nor and her family had helped me a lot during my wedding by providing me with the yummy dodol as wedding favours to my guests. I really appreciated all their help so it means I have to 'rewang' for this wedding. It's been so long since I really get my hands dirty during a wedding. The last time I really helped out was for Abang's wedding. That was like eaons ago. And I didn't really help much because it was held during my poly exam period and I had to rush off to make time to study.

Fuh! So many weddings to attend to.. ;p~

Signing Off~~

Empathy..

Have you ever experienced a moment of intense sadness and vulnerablility that it rendered you speechless?

I did.

Last Sunday.

Let me tell you why...

A close family friend of my in-laws was in a comatose stage when she fell down while bathing on Saturday. Her daughter was the one who discovered her in the morning. So on Sunday, we went to pay her a visit.
I don't really know the details behind her illness but when I saw her lying on the hospital bed with all the equipments attached to her.. I don't think I want to know the details.

I don't know why I felt so affected by all of it.
I don't really know her. I even send her daughter (who is a member of a forum but I've never met her before) a PM to tell her how sorry I am about her mom's situation. Maybe it's because of me being too emotional. I feel for people's pain. For e.g. if I were to watch somebody pinch my hubby's nose really really hard, I can feel my nose twitch and it kinda hurt.
I still can't forget the scene from Hannibal where the guy's head was cut open to reveal the brain while he was still alive.. Yikes.... My scalp tingles whenever I recall that scene in my mind.
Or the scene in Saw where the doctor have to saw off his own feet in order to rescue his family.. *shudder*

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Well, now that I've mentioned Hannibal & Saw, let me tell you something about myself..
I can never watch a horror movie alone. I really hate to admit that I am such a scaredy cat.. Hehehe..
Azmi have such a wild time scaring me out of my wits sometimes. Arrghh!
And I don't have the guts to play Doom3 again on the Xbox. I got hubby to buy it for me but the game have been sitting on the shelf ever since there was an incident where I nearly peed in my pants while playing it. Dang! Those zombies really give me the creep.. Hahaha..

Sshhh.. Let it be our little secret ok?

I think I better stop here before I spill out more unsavoury secrets about myself to you guys.. ;p~

Why?

Some people ask me why I don't allow any commenting on my blog. The reason is simple. I don't have the time to moderate/read it.
I don't even have time to update my blog regularly.
And I've seen lots of examples around me where readers abuse this function and use it as a medium for attacking the authors. bleah~~

So if you feel that you have something to say to me, just drop me an email at idayunor@hotmail.com
I do make a point to check my emails almost everyday and I'll try to set aside some time from my busy schedule to reply to my fans' emails.. Hahaha..

Another long post~~~

I just realised that I've typed out the previous entry in English. Hmmm.. Why ah? And I can't imagine letting my mom read it. Heehehe.. Malu ah nak feeling2 ni..
But I will let her read it one day..

Hub said the other day that he had developed an application for his company and it will be patented under his name. Which means a lawyer will have to be there and hub will have to sign some documents to say that no one can copy/make use of it without his permission. Gee.. It all sound sooooooo grown-up.. Hahahaha..

I feel so damn proud of him! He have went a long way to be where he is right now and he's not even a poly graduate. ;p~

Now moving on to something else..
Here's a lyric that I want to share..

Depeche Mode - Somebody

I want somebody to share
Share the rest of my life
Share my innermost thoughts
Know my intimate details
Someone who'll stand by my side
And give me support
And in return
She'll get my support
She will listen to me
When I want to speak
About the world we live in
And life in general
Though my views may be wrong
They may even be perverted
She'll hear me out
And won't easily be converted
To my way of thinking
In fact she'll often disagree
But at the end of it all
She will understand me
Aaaahhhhh....
I want somebody who cares
For me passionately
With every thought
With every breath
Someone who'll help me see things
In a different light
All the things I detest
I will almost like
I don't want to be tied
To anyone's strings
I'm carefully trying to steer clear of
Those things
But when I'm asleep
I want somebody
Who will put their arms around me
And kiss me tenderly
Though things like this
Make me sick
In a case like this
I'll get away with it
And in a place like this
I'll get away with it
Aaaahhhhh....

Beautiful lyric but the song is hideous.. Well, this is my opinion.. Sorry if I've offended any Depeche Mode fans out there.
Anyway, when I was a kid, I found one of my neighbour's portfolio in my brother's cupboard. She wrote this lyric on the front page in gorgeous cursive handwriting and it made quite an impression on me. And it kinda made me want to be the woman described in that song. Lol! And I was only a kid, mind you..
I want to be someone who will listen to other people's views but will not be swayed nor converted. (Some people might misunderstood it as being stubborn)
I want to be able to hear my friends' deepest, darkest secrets.. no matter how perverted, skewed or sick and I would never judge them for it.
I want to be able to hold my own views on some things and will stand up for whatever I strongly believe in. (Even though I got into a lot of trouble in the past because of this)

Some men can't stand to be in the company of a woman who are more confident, intelligent and educated than them. And some of the elders think that it's such a waste of time & money to educate girls because they are going to end up cooking & cleaning for their husbands. Arrrghhh..!

I am glad that my mom don't think like these people. She's the one who encouraged me to finish my studies and to go on continuing it instead of just being content with what I have right now. Being uneducated herself, she had experienced first hand of how difficult life can be without education. I admire how she pushed herself to take up massage lessons even when she was faced with a lot of obstacles and objections from the people around her. One of her advice to me was,
'Don't rely 100% on people around you. Even family members. They might turn around and refuse to help you when you are in need. Learn to stand on your own 2 feet and learn to take initiatives instead of waiting around for help that will never come. This is where a solid education will be useful to you. '

Of course she said it in Malay and I also don't remember her exact words. Heehee.. ;p~
My dad also supports her views on this and worked really hard to provide money for our educations.

A few months ago, I heard from a nenek (not related to me lah), who had offended me tremendously by saying, 'Nenek cakap jgn marah eh? Anak dara zaman dulu tak macam sekarang. Dorang dulu bleh masak, jahit baju, kemas rumah.. Tak kluar rumah merayap.... '
I was so pissed off and I nearly screamed at her ---> 'HALLO NENEK! SAYA CAKAP JGN MARAH OK! ANAK DARA ZAMAN DULU BOLEH PROGRAM C++ TAK? BOLEH BAWAK KENDERAAN TAK? BOLEH REPAIR COMPUTER TAK? BOLEH DESIGN WEBSITE TAK?!!

Instead, I just said,'Dulu lain nek, tak boleh samakan dengan sekarang. Polis sekarang mana ada pakai seluar pendek lagi..'
She didn't look very happy with my reply but we changed the topic to something else.

Sigh..

I don't know why I was so angry with her. I know she can't be blamed because she came from a different generation where women will stay at home, do housework and are content with a basic education in school. After they find a suitable candidate for a husband, they will get married, be a housewife and a mother.

I think I have to explain why I don't know how to sew and why my cooking skills are limited.
From the time I was 5 years old, I was sent to school. This will continue on and on till I graduate. Then after I graduated, I went on to get a job and work till I die.. Where got time to learn all those skills that the previous generations have prided themselves to master? Like sewing, I don't see the need to invest my energy in it when I buy clothes off the rack.. No doubt, I can still repair torn shirts or whatever.. But to learn how to sew an impressive set of curtains for the house?.. No thank you. I can pay someone to do it for me. Ya, I know I can save loads of money by doing it myself but let me say this to you --> You can always earn back the money that you've lost. But how about time, darling?

With the time that I've saved by paying someone else to do it for me, I can do so many other things that I'll enjoy. Heh..

Oklah.. I'll end my post now..

Gee.. I don't know how I can type out such a long boring post.. and at work some more.. Hehehe..

The 3-letter word that means so much to me..

She goes by many names.. You can call her Aminah, Mazni, Ani, Mak Ngah or Mak Long..
But I am just glad and lucky to call her Mak..
Not mummy or mama.. Just this 3-letter word that means so much to me..

I was only 14.
As a teenager, I know that I was a constant pain in your neck..
Not only was I rebellious.. I was a petulant kid and full of angst.
I was angry with the whole world and the pressure to conform to my so-called bestfriends' expectations drove me crazy.
I was unhappy with everything.. My allowance, my homeworks, my teachers, my siblings, my body, my face, my tiny little 3-room flat..
And I thought I was being cool, hating everybody and everything..

I can still vividly recall the day when we had a fight..
The day when you tried to discipline me, I screamed,'I hate it! I am so fed-up! Why did you even give birth to me?!!'..
The look on your face made me think twice of what I'd just said. Your face crumpled up but no tears came out. You just kept quiet and walked away, leaving me speechless and remorseful..
Later on when everything had calmed down, you came to me and explained that every child that came out from your womb is a product of love from both you and Ayah. You said that every parents hope to give their child a better life. Giving birth to us was a joyful thing for you. You proudly said that you will be happy to go through all of it again if you have to. You painstakingly explained to me that the life that we are living right now are what both of you can afford to give to us at that moment....

I didn't take into account that you'd taken up a part-time job to clean rich people's house to help Ayah with the bills and also to make our life a little better with the extra income.
I didn't realised at that time that the smaller the house, the closer our family became. And being middle-income doesn't mean that the quality of life I am living is third-class. In fact, it was a gold-class standard of living that made me into what I am right now. But I was too blind to see. A blind and an ignorant teenager who only cared about herself.

I hate to admit it but I was a messed-up little girl..
When I was a toddler, I was diagnosed with a skin disease that made some areas of my skin to be white. White as snow...
The doctor said that it was due to lack of pigmentation.. I was like an unfinished portrait because the artist had ran out of paint.

My brother used to poke fun of me by saying that I've contracted the disease from Michael Jackson.
But Mak, you were the one who brought me to a skin specialist, trying to get rid of the disease to make your daughter whole again. No matter how hard I tried to resist the treatments, you still persevere and coaxed me gently.

I hated the alcohol solution that you rubbed on my white skin. I hated the time when I had to sit still and sun myself in the kitchen after school as adviced by the doctor. I hated the huge blisters that formed on my skin when I overexposed it to the sun. I hated the ugly scars that were left behind when the blisters have healed. I hated the sleepless nights that I've endured because of the pain. I hated the days when I was unable to walk because of the pain. I hated all the years when I was ridiculed & abused by my schoolmates due to my funny skin disease. How I hated it when I heard paranoid mothers telling their kids not to play with me, because they are afraid their kids might contract my disease. I hated it so much that I didn't think twice when I gulped down 8 panadols to kill myself when I was only 6!

But what I didn't remember was that you were there beside me.. patiently & tirelessly nursing me back to health. And I've somehow forgotten how hard you have tried to console me when I came home crying, unable to take it anymore.. I've forgotten how you yourself had sleepless nights when I was in pain. How you'd wrung your hand in despair, not knowing how to lessen your daughter's agony and tears.. It was a futile attempt to treat my skin problem and seeing how much money was wasted on those treatments that were not working, I just give up. Now I am more in peace with myself and accepted my condition as it is. And I am extremely lucky to have an understanding husband who loves me unconditionally, just like you did..

Mak.. I've read countless sad poems & stories, telling me how they've regretted not cherishing their own mothers when they were still alive. And I just can't stop the tears welling up in my eyes when I read them, reminding me time & time again not to take you for granted.

The fact that you are living on borrowed time and the fact that I am now a married woman, busy with my own daily tasks only made it worst for me.
I miss you, Mak.. And I love you even more..
If only you knew.. If only you can feel how much I love you by the way I kissed you goodbye everytime I am leaving for my new home in Ubi.
I wished that I can turn back the time and take back all the tears & heartaches I've caused you and replace it with your smiles & laughter, day after day..
I wished that I can shoulder the burden that you are carrying right now because of both of your kidneys.
I wished that I can drop all my current responsibilities and be there for you like the way you have been there for me previously but I can't. I am really sorry..

Mak, no matter how hard you mask your pain, I can clearly see through you. I know that you are hiding all these because you don't want us to worry about you. Now I am the one wringing my hand, trying to find ways to make you comfortable while you are plugged to that machine that is helping me prolong your life..

Mak, I want you to know that I admire your strength, your willfulness, your silent dignity, your beauty, your independence, your resourcefulness, your selflessness, your wisdom and your ability to accept and endure what life have thrown in your path.
If one day I may become a mother myself, I know it will be hard for me to stand as equal as you.
I prayed fervently that you will be by my side forever but I know that it's just wishful thinking. A fool's hope.

What I can do right now is pray for God to grant me more time to undo all the damages that I'd done in the past. And the strength to carry on when you are finally at peace..

PS: I took 1 whole day to type the post above because I have to stop once in a while to stop the tears from welling up in my eyes. And in the middle of it, I gave my mom a call to ask how she's been and promise her that I will be going to pay her a visit this Saturday.

Sigh.. Miss her so much~

Yada yada yada..

Warning~~ Long post ahead~

Hub's birthday went by without a glitch. ;p~
We went to watch MI3 by utilising the free movie tix given by my company for my b'day. It's a good movie but I don't understand the twist.. *scratch head* Bleah~~
But it doesn't matter coz I loike Tom Cruise~~. He's 40 and yet he still look so good. Hehehe.
And he kinda remind me of someone I know in Starhub.

Let's move on to other things..

My current weight is now 55kg. I can now do 2 sets of 50 push-ups and 2 sets of 20 crunches.. (now I know why it's called 'crunches', because your face crunched up in a funny way as you try to endure this torturous form of exercise..).
As for my arms, hub recommended me to continue me bench-pressing 5kg till I can feel the pain on both of my arms. I still remember the day I said 'Huh? So little?' when he placed 2.5kg on each side of the bar. He laughed and said that he wanted me to tone my muscles instead of making me bulky. And then when I was on the 2nd set, ah kau~~ I felt as if my arms have turned to jelly. It was as if the 5kg suddenly became 50kg! There was a time that I cried out in pain and nearly dropped the weight onto my OWN FACE! Yikes!!
Lucky hub was there to rescue me..
Tu lah, anggek sangat kan? Padan muka aku.. Hehehe.. ;p~

Oh yeah~~ I defeated Azlan in a short race from the lift to our house, which is a good 50m distance and he lost.. Hahaha.. I am surprised at the short spurt of energy that I have and I didn't even lie on the floor gasping for air when I reached the door.
MIL didn't know of course.. I am sure she will 'geleng her kepala' seeing how her DIL is behaving like a kid. LoL!

Ok.. One more thing to update here..
We went to Kampung Chai Chee Restaurant last Saturday. Busu treated all of us for dinner since she sold her old house and will be moving to a new one in Sembawang. All of hub's relatives were there. Service was good. They even gave away a few stalks of fresh flowers to the mothers in our group since it was a day before Mother's Day. I personally recommend you guys to buy the Black Pepper Crab. Syiook babe~ Bila tengah makan, telinga goyang2.. Tak ingat dunia when you eat it.. Hehe..

I received funny looks when I gave the Shark Fin Soup a pass. They thought that I don't like to eat fish. Hah! WRONG!
Here's a random fact about me --> I don't eat Shark Fin Soup~
I don't eat it because I've seen how many sharks have died unnecessarily & cruelly to provide us with that dish. As far as I am concerned, the bowl that contains that dish looks like it's filled with blood. Anyway, it's bloody unhealthy to eat it. It's laced with mercury, which do not have any benefit to one's health at all!!! Well... other than making men sterile. So guys, if you are planning not to have anymore kids, go on and indulge yourself in this dish. Muahahahaha..
Here's a few links regarding the mercury level in case you all don't believe me.
http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2002/07/31/world/main517011.shtml
http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?file=/g/archive/2003/01/20/urbananimal.DTL
http://www.jamiebaldwin.co.uk/bbc%20nature/BBC%20-%20Nature%20News%20-%20Shark%20fin%20mercury%20claims%20damage%20restaura.htm

I particularly like the way this Malaysian author wrote this article.. http://thestar.com.my/lifestyle/story.asp?file=/2006/1/29/lifefocus/13243353&sec=lifefocus

Here's a few excerpt from that same article which I find to be quote-worthy:

'To make the soup, the fins are cooked for hours until the cartilage separates into needles. Shark fin soup is basically boiled cartilage! The fins have little real nutritional value. They may have texture, but don’t offer much taste. It’s the broth – made of pork, chicken and mushrooms or whatever – that gives taste.
So the fins cost a bomb, have no taste and offer no health benefits. Plus, there’s a terrible ecological toll – we are eating sharks to extinction!'

'The claims that shark fin soup is an energy tonic or increases potency have no scientific basis.
In fact, the reverse may be true. Long-term shark fin consumption could even cause sterility in men because of mercury contamination.
Mercury, used industrially for making plastics and batteries, pollutes many rivers and seas. Many species of fish are affected but mercury content is much higher in sharks. At the top of the food chain, sharks ingest all toxic material consumed by smaller fish. A Thai government survey found seven of 10 shark fin samples to be contaminated.
For this reason, the United States Environmental Protection Agency has advised pregnant women not to eat shark meat. Britain’s Food Standards Authority has also warned against serving it to children.
Mercury, by the way, is known to affect the nervous system. It was once used in the process of making hats, but drove hat makers mad – thus, the phrase “mad as a hatter”.'

'But the real tragedy in shark fin soup is the way in which the fins are procured. Typically, fishermen cut the fins off and throw the sharks back into the water, because the meat has little value. As sharks need fins to swim and must move to get oxygen, the mutilated sharks then bleed to death or drown. Divers have discovered huge shark graveyards.'

'Every year, some 100 million sharks are killed, says conservation group Wild Aid. Hong Kong alone imported the fins of 28 million sharks in 1999.'

'Unlike many other fish, sharks reproduce slowly. They take years to reach sexual maturity – 30 years for the sand bank shark. Some sharks only produce two young in a breeding cycle. Depleted shark populations take a long time to recover, if they can recover at all.
Sharks have been around for the past 400 million years. They are the predators at the top of the ocean’s food chain. If they were to become extinct, it is not known how this would affect the ocean’s ecology in the long term. Now tell me, is that bowlful of prestige really worth this?'

Don't try to tempt me by saying how delicious it is.. because I KNOW! I've eaten it before when I was young, stupid and uninformed. Shark fins itself are tasteless but it was transformed into a delicious dish when the rest of the ingredients are added in. Duh~~
If I've offended you with the above paragraph, I apologise. It's just that I am very passionate about animals. I hate to see them caught by fishermen, have their fins cut off and thrown back into the sea to DIE just so that human beings get to eat a small part of their body. It's such a waste. Will talk more about my passion in one of my future postings.. I sure do hope that what I've written above might change your opinion on eating that dish.
And also I hope that you will remember what I've wrote in here the next time you are about to dig in into a bowl of boiled shark fin soup.

Ok ok.. back to the dinner outing..
And as usual, his aunts were asking me if i dah ada. They didn't know what happened to me last week actually coz I didn't really tell anyone about it except for a few people. So I just replied "InsyaAllah. Belom ada rezeki lah. Doa2 kan lah eh?" To which they replied "InsyaAllah" and proceeded to look like they pity me. Grr...